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Friday, November 29th, 2002
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11:58 am - I am Hermione's twin
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I got an Emma Watson comparison today. From my cousin, who walked in the room and went, "OH MY GOD DES, you look EXACTLY like Hermione! How cool is that?!"
She is sixth or so person to say that since the second movie came out. ^^ I am happy.
Now, if only I could find a guy like Harry... :/
current mood:  happy
current music: Say It Ain't So // Weezer
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| Thursday, November 28th, 2002
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10:53 am
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HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
I loff you all, honestly. I am so thankful for you. ^^ *huggles all around* And for Tom Felton, but that's another story.
Now to go eat until my stomach explodes! Mmm, homemade cranberry sauce... *drools*
current mood:  hungry
current music: The Zephyr Song // The Red Hot Chili Peppers
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| Wednesday, November 27th, 2002
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8:33 pm - And I travel on my way, spreading love and joy throughout the land...
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Oh God, my stomach hurts.
I think I must've eaten something that didn't agree with me...argh...
<<<>>>
Has the entire Internet died? I haven't talked to anybody in days, and I haven't gotten any comments, either. ^^
<<<>>>
I HAVE A NEW LAYOUT.
Everybody eat, drink, and be merry.
If Bianca can't find the colours, this will stay, at least for a while. It's all mine. I just want to say that. I created it ALL. Except the icon. Which was created by Shay.
I am a happy ;abjdutw364hbf.
*cough*
Excuse that.
current mood:  bored
current music: Get Free // The Vines
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| Saturday, November 23rd, 2002
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11:39 am - More Nuri stuff.
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Sorry to bother you with more of this crap that you probably don't care about, but right now it's a big part of my life.
Me: "I don't want to be her friend. I just wish we weren't enemies."
Jasmine: "She doesn't hate you, if that's what you mean. She just thinks it would be easier if you weren't friends anymore."
Me: "'Not being friends' means mutual kindness without emotional attachment. Not completely refusing to acknowledge each other's prescence. Not oftentimes total denoucement of that prescence as somehow inferior. Those are the things ENEMIES do. If she truly just 'didn't want to be friends anymore', she wouldn't feel the need to do those kinds of cruel, manipulative things."
Jasmine: "What a conincidence, she has the same goals for your relationship as you do. The mutual kindess thing."
But how can that be? How can someone who doesn't look at you when speak, ignores your hellos and smiles, and deliberately says hi to the people you're with while pretending like you're invisible want "mutual kindness"? It's not just going to happen. She's going to have to be KIND if she wants that.
I'm so distraught by this.
Me: "She thinks she's righteous. What if she is? I mean, I was the one who called her a fair-weather friend."
Mum: "She thinks she's RIGHTEOUS? What planet is she living on? Nobody who BURNS APOLOGY LETTERS is righteous. Nobody who won't lend you a piece of paper and would insult you to your face if she was speaking to you is righteous. You were wrong, but as soon as she refused your apology, the tables turned. She is wrong now, completely wrong. She's selfish, mean, and manipulative. And when the rest of your friends realise that, they won't want to be her friend anymore either. She'll get her comeuppance...God doesn't let people like this go scot-free."
I don't know what to do. I can't fix this, and it's driving me insane. I hate this. I have to take a backseat to my own social standing...somebody else is in control of my social standing within my circle of friends. How can they not see how horrible she is to me? How can any of them still think she's right in this? I don't understand...where is the karma?
current mood: betrayed
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| Friday, November 22nd, 2002
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7:31 pm - Mmmm...cheesecake
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My background is being really pissy. Jasmine offered to host it for me, so it should be working now. It might look kind of weird if you don't have a 1024+ resolution, though.
<<<>>>
I know I shouldn't be happy about this, but...
NURI HAS A C- IN ENGLISH!
Poetic justice aside, I feel bad for her. It will be her first grade below a B+, ever. Of course, it's completely her own fault. She was so busy burning effigies of me (not really...I hope...*shifty eyes*) that she never studied or did any of her homework.
Speaking of school, it's not all piss and vinegar. For instance, I will marry Ray. He is the most hysterical person alive. His soul (and left ear, on Wednesdays) always stays by his locker, according to him.
Ray: "It's hard to attend class without a soul and on Wednesdays only one ear."
Ray also dedicates his entire PE period to comically bicycle-kicking the soccer ball, although he's actually quite talented. He's scored about seventeen field goals. *snickers* Yes, my school is cheap and we play soccer and football, not to mention baseball, lacross, field hockey, and track, on one field. It's a small school, admittedly.
Anyway, if you exclude all things Nuri, my day was pretty good.
And now I shall go eat cheesecake and watch Law & Order.
Edit: Why the HELL is my background NOT WORKING? Gah! *attacks computer with stapler, which is the closet object capable of doing major damage* DIE, YOU BITCH!
Edit (again): I gave up on the background for now. I'm sticking with this pretty thing, at least for a little while. The black kind of makes me depressed though... *shrugs*
current mood: cheerful
current music: Carnival // Natalie Merchant
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| Thursday, November 21st, 2002
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4:23 pm - o_0
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Mike the Water Polo God shaves his legs.
That is all.
current mood:  okay
current music: There Is // Boxcar Racer
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| Wednesday, November 20th, 2002
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12:27 pm - I return from the dead
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Witness my glorious return to LiveJournal!
Read: I finally persuaded my mother that this journal is not "emotionally unhealthy" because bottling up your feelings gives you ulcers.
DES' LIFE SO FAR IN CALIFORNIA:
Muchachas
Rosemarie
Jasmine
Alyssa
Simone
Hillary
Ray
Sharon
Joe
Harry
Casey
Josh
Mike
Kelly
Maria
Ex-Muchahas/Enemies
Nuri, aka Bitchy McFickle
Baines
This thing with Nuri is really bothering me. It started out that she was angry with Alyssa, and now she hates me as well. Apparently, 'Lyssa called her a fair-weather friend, to which she responded with a pantheon of insults--which led me to second 'Lyssa's opinion. So now, Nuri's not talking to us. Even though I apologised. As a matter of fact, I wrote her an apology letter and put it in her locker, which the bitch burned the next morning and returned the ashes to me.
What a drama queen. It's all too clear that she does this for attention, or maybe just her own sick pleasure. She wants to manipulate me, twist me around her finger, make me cry.
Sorry, Nuri.
I don't care.
One of the greatest things my father ever taught me is, "When people show you who they are, believe them." Well, I believe you, Nuri. And I don't want a childish, stubborn bitch for a friend.
current mood: good
current music: No Doubt - Platinum Blonde Life
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| Saturday, November 16th, 2002
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8:28 pm - I may be banned, but...
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| Saturday, August 3rd, 2002
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9:17 am - Social butteryflyiness
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'The King and I' wasn't so bad. It's always such a letdown when he dies at the end though.
Nuri is a tall, quiet Korean girl, very pretty in her own way but hides underneath baggy pants and an oversized jacket. Nuri is an uberchristian, though unlike Evil Bitch Roommate of Doom McKenzie, does not kick me in the shins for my 'Who gives two squirts of piss if God exists?' attitude.
Today I am going to a party down the street thrown by a girl named Lauren. Wow, I'm such a social butterfly now. I'm totally amazing myself with my social butteryflyiness. There are a lot of girls around here my age, which is a plus, and a few boys I've met as well. Some nice-looking, but make me go jelloid like Johnny did. Oh, now I'm depressed. I was the girlfriend of a Sex God for about a week, and now I live halfway around the world in what my father is beginning to refer to as a 'facist Disneyland'.
There are Andrew, Brendon, and Joe, mainly. Joe is coming close to the jelloid-inducing effect. Like Gaven, he must share a few genes with Johnny. His skin is the same, tanned to Mediterranean perfection, his hair dark and askew. But instead of melty chocolate eyes, Joe's eyes are ice blue, piercing, mind-reading, soul-seeing orbs.
'Hey,' said Joe, when I met him, 'are you from England?'
'Australia,' I said.
He smiled at me and I thought, Close, but not quite. Johnny stills wins this round. He said, 'Do you like it better here or there?'
'Well, I haven't been here long,' I laughed. 'But I miss Australia, yeah. You know it's winter there?'
'Cool! You guys have Christmas in the summer?'
'I can't believe you have Christmas in the winter.'
'You know,' he said, 'we should do something. Like...oh, you know what's fun? You put a camcorder in a porta-john, and then you come back in an hour or so and watch the tape!'
Sounds like a disgusting invasion of privacy. Sounds like a HYSTERICAL disgusting invasion of privacy.
'Not seriously,' said Joe. 'But we could see a movie or something.'
Hmm, I thought, just a friend. Someone that good-looking would be a powerful ally as a friend. Pathetic that I play my life like a wargame, but if one of your best friends looks like the love child of a younger Kevin Costner and Josh Hartnet, people are bound to get the right impression. Heh. And ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) alphariza says boys at her school think Aussies are 'hella hot'. I'm definately Aussie. 'Hella hot'...dun think so. But whatever. Can't wait to meet all the people at school! Squee!
current mood:  excited
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| Friday, August 2nd, 2002
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6:51 pm - Sweet home...California?
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Have arrived at my mother's new house in California. Things are similar here, and I find that I'm really not all that homesick.
The neighbours, who have a daughter my age named Meredith, came over to greet us and brought us some home-made plum brandy.
Mum said, 'How nice! Where'd you get this?'
'We made it,' said Mrs Next-Door.
Like an idiot my Mum said, 'You have a brandy tree?'
Meredith Next-Door and her mother looked at us like we were the dumbest people ever. My mum is really going to give Australians a bad rep in San Francisco.
'It's a plum tree,' said Mrs Next-Door slowly.
'Oh,' said Mum. I thought we were safe then, but no. Mummy Big Mouth Knickers had to go and say, 'Our plum tree doesn't make brandy.'
I was so embarrassed I took an emergency trip to the loo so that I could get out of the doorway. I can't believe my mum. She sent me up to go and see 'The King and I' with Meredith and another girl, Nuri. I'm sure these are great people but I've NEVER MET THEM.
She says it will be a good opportunity for me to meet new people and make some friends.
There better be some good-looking blokes at this play. Meredith seems like she knows where to find good-looking blokes. She's wears her make-up well and looks popular. At least I am falling in with the right crowd.
They arrive in twenty minutes or so. Oh God, what do I wear? Make-up or no? Casual or dressy? What if Mum asks about the magic brandy tree?
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| Friday, July 26th, 2002
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4:37 pm
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STUPID JOEY! AAaaaaAAAAAaaaaRRRRGGGGHHH!
Am not talking to him. Am confused by him. Wonder if he is all right in the head. I never gotten so many mixed signals before in my life. Does he hate me or love me? Does he want me to kiss him or to drop dead on the floor? There are too many instances to name, but today he shoved me on the stairwell sans a smile, left my room as soon as I got there, and deliberately ignored me. C'mon, there's less than twelves hours left. Grow up and figure out what you want.
I hate my roommates, exclusive bitches. I was lying on McKenzie's bed, looking under the headboard to see if my CD had fallen there.
'What are you doing on McKenzie's bed?' demanded Stacey, in one of those voices that rises and falls with bossiness.
'Looking for my CD,' I said honestly. I bet you a million dollars she wouldn't give a squirt of piss if McKenzie was on *my* bed.
She also used the same voice with Simon today, telling him he couldn't touch her computer. Of course, Gaven, McKenzie, Jim, Brandon, Alex, and Nick can all use the computer. And while Simon has his flaws, he's a all-around nice guy and Bitchwoman has no right to talk to him like that. I felt like smacking her, but instead I came online to vent.
I don't want to be mad at them on the last day, but they both embody so many of the characteristics I hate in people. Bossiness, exclusiveness, meaness, and just basically being bullies and bitches. And they think I'm a 'ho. I am not a 'ho. They're both playing around on boyfriends while I am single and having a little fun. I.e., holding hands, sleeping on shoulders.
I am *so* glad I am leaving these people.
current mood:  angry
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11:54 am
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consider the odds consider the obvious the fire is meaningless the idea has died in the planning stages and the fallen faces are the singular proof it was ever alive the causeless rebellion has been outdone and we all stripped and left to die I begged you not to go claimed you as my only hope and watched the floor as you retreated does it comfort you to know you fought the good fight basking in your victory hollow and alone and exercise your bitter bragging rights to anyone who will listen while you're left with nothing tangible to gain
Last day.
My bags are packed, my room is clean, and my van leaves for the airport at 6 AM.
The dance last night was crazy. I danced with No-Longer-a-Jackass Nick, Funny Nick, Alex, Jim, Evan, and before I knew it, it was the last song of the night and I still hadn't danced with Joey. All night I'd been thinking about it.
'He's looking at you,' Jamie hissed, and I said,
'Yeah, I know.'
'How?'
'I'm looking at him too.'
Joey said something, and pointed in my direction. Meredith, Ross, and Brandon all looked at me. Meredith smiled a bit. I elbowed Jamie. 'If I said I liked Joey, would you look at him?'
'Yeah.'
I squinted and looked closer at Joey, who was watched me out of the corner of his eye, all the way across the room. 'If I said I couldn't stand Joey, would you look at him?'
'Yeah...'
The last song started and my stomach tightened and I felt like the biggest idiot. I loved Johnny, right? I did. I felt like such a 'ho. But Johnny had said it was perfectly okay for me to date at camp if I wanted...only I didn't want to. I just wanted the attention I'd gotten from Johnny and I wanted it from Joey, or Gaven. At the moment Gaven wasn't even glancing at me, so Joey was my main focus. I missed the love and the strong hugs and the comforting touch of Johnny's fingers, and I guess somewhere deep inside me I felt like if I could get it again, from Joey or Gaven or Brandon or Nick or Alex that I would feel better again, and that dull pain of lonliness would disappear from my stomach.
I got up, walked over to him, stood for a moment, breathing deeply. 'Do you want to dance?'
He looked up at me, the mood amplified by the slow music. 'Yes,' he said. A definate 'yes'. Not a 'yeah' or a 'sure', but a gentlemanly 'yes'. A thank-you-for-asking-me 'yes'. A sincere, I-really-do-want-to-dance-with-you 'yes'.
He took my hand and we walked to the floor and he wrapped his arms around me and swayed gently. His hands were strong, soft, warm against the flesh of my back. 'You're short,' I said before I could stop myself.
IDIOT! FUCKING IDIOT! Mental head smacking. He pushed me away.
'No, no,' I cried, 'short is sexy.'
Good Lord in Heaven in whom I don't believe, I'm so DUMB. He put his hands around me again, but I felt like running away. Shit. I know I ruined it. Again. I know I'm the dumbest person ever. I wish I could staple my mouth shut or something, so I can't say anything dumb. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
I feel so alone. I'm the girl from Australia, with the accent and all those funny words, 'bugger' and 'bloody' and 'mate'. In fact, they dragged me to see that Crocodile Hunter movie and asked if I wanted to restle crocodiles too and if I had a pet kangaroo. No, I said, I don't. In fact, I live in California now. So kiss my ass. As a matter of fact, I've made it offical --> I changed my location to California, United States. It feels so...terminal. The end of a big part of my life.
Confused, scared, lonely. I don't know what I'd going or where I'm going. What do I do about Joey? A goodbye hug, or should I kiss him on the cheek? Or nothing at all, just leave without a word like smoke?
current mood: lonely
current music: [[dashboard confessional]] The Good Fight
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| Thursday, July 25th, 2002
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4:11 pm - Can you get radiation poisoning from bitchvibes?
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No longer mad at Joey. He's more than made up for it with flattery, veiled compliments, and snapping constant pictures of me so he can show his friends 'the hottest girl at camp'. He's none too shabby himself, frankly. Short, but it's forgivable.
Poor Jamie. She's been insulted and made fun of so many times, it's really quite sad. She never did a thing to anyone; only annoyed them unintentionally with constant questions and a Long Island accent. Evan stole my keys and was running down the hall with them, and Jamie took it very seriously and kicked his leg, and he started howling, 'Ow, ow, you BITCH! You're such a BITCH!'
Jamie's face fell faster than a drunken sailor. Her lower lip trembled a bit, and she tried to think of something witty to say, but just came up with a lame comeback that reinforced his belief of her stupidity. It's difficult to hang out with Jamie knowing that everything else thinks I'm losing IQ points by the hundred just by standing next to her. I wish that I wasn't so swayed by popular opinion, but she wants to be by my side for the entire dance tonight and I don't know if I'm going to be able to do that and still have Gaven or Joey show any interest in me. Not that I would really dance. I grinded (ground?) with Nick and Gaven last time, but I didn't really know Joey. It was at the very begining of camp. I wonder if Joey can grind. I know Jamie can't. Oh, what if she tries when she sees me doing it? That would be a big mistake. She'd been made fun of to no end. The worst of it is that I can't really stick up for her, because I know that they'll lump me in with her as an idiot, and I take more pride in my intelligence than anything else.
My roommates have stopped with the Jesus II treatment and just started doing their own thing and basically ignoring me. It's mutual. But best of all, I have most of the camp on my side and more friends than they can ever hope of having. The problem is, they will always have each other. I have a best friend by opportunity. I sacrifice having one true blue friend by having many casual friends. But frankly, I'm kind of glad that I'm not with them. They're very clique-y and exclusive, not to mention spraying bitchvibes in every direction.
Lucy, who I would have to name as the nicest, sweetest, and all around best person at this camp, is often the butt of their bitchness. Just yesterday she was near tears after a particularly nasty encounter with Mean and Meaner. Veronica had given McKenzie a slice of pizza in exchange for a dollar, and Lucy wanted a piece. 'No fair, I had to pay for mine,' whined McKenzie.
'Oh,' said Lucy, 'well, can I help you carry some of your stuff?' Veronica had a lot of things, and Lucy thought she might get a slice by being helpful.
'You're so damn prissy!' screeched McKenzie. 'You proper bitch!'
Lucy turned around, shocked. What the hell was this? McKenzie was yelling because she was nice? Veronica also seemed to think this was very strange, because she sent McKenzie a look halfway between disapproving and confused and said to Lucy,
'Here, you can have a piece for being a good friend.'
Ha! Stuff that in your pipe and smoke it, McKenzie! I wonder if I held up a mirror and she saw her own reflection if she might shrivel up and die like a vampire.
current mood: restless
current music: [[eminem]] Sing For the Moment
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| Wednesday, July 24th, 2002
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3:59 pm - Too bad I already used the 'Baby Got Back' intro for another title
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Mad at Joey.
Not very mad, just a bit.
I was standing in Alexandra's doorway talking to Jamie and Dee when Joey decided he wanted to leave the room. Purely coincidental, I don't think he wanted to leave because of me. In fact, it's very plausible that he actually wanted to leave because of Jamie. Not many people like Jamie, which is sad because she's really very sweet. She's a little bit slow, not dumb, just asks a lot of questions (I'll admit, it can be a bit aggravating), and unfortunately is burdened with a very annoying New York accent. Hmm, thinking Joey left the room because of Jamie's presence is actually very comforting, in a backstabbing kind of way.
Anyway.
So I was standing the doorway and Joey got up, and stood for a minute because the doors are small and I was kind of blocking it. 'Do you want me to move my fat ass?' I asked jokingly, and almost silmultaneously, he spat,
'Can you move your FAT ASS?'
His voice held none of the playfulness mine had. He sounded dead serious. I waited for him to smile or at least laugh a little but he just glared, so I discreetly moved my "fat ass". I think I'm having an emotional breakdown because I seriously felt tears in my eyes. That would be about the fifteenth time I've cried since yesterday but I didn't, I just swallowed the lump in my throat and made myself feel better with a Butterfinger from the vending machine. Shouldn't have. It will just make my ass fatter.
current mood: irritated
current music: [[ludacris]] You's a 'Ho
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12:37 pm - Da na na na na na na BITCHWOMAN!
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From where I'm sitting, I can see Drew, Matt, and Brandon hudled around a computer a couple rows in front of me. It looks like they're on AIM. God, it's been a while since I was AIM. It doesn't work on a lot of these computers.
Today has been a good-bad day. I woke up five minutes before I was supposed to be at class and had to run all the way across this giant campus in flipflops and the first two things I grabbed out of my closet (a pair of jeans and a red wifebeater). I had a coughing fit and choked on the throat lozenge I was sucking, finally getting it out of my airpipe by swallowing it whole which left a very unpleasant sensation in the esophogus. Because I don't see my roommates except to sleep, seeing as we are sort of avoiding each other, I've been stuck hanging out with whoever's around, i.e., people other people don't really like.
Joey hasn't talked to me today. I wonder why. I tried to talk to him yesterday, but he just ignored me. I have an awful feeling that my roommates have turned him against me like they did with Nick, Gaven, Brandon, Drew, Lucy, and anyone else I ever talked to. Sometimes they are such bitches. At the pool yesterday, McKenzie was talking about her cousin and Simon asked where the cousin was from.
She gave him a look like she'd never seen anyone so stupid. 'Here,' she said. McKenzie is from Detroit.
'Oh,' said Simon, 'well, my cousins live in Taiwan, so I was just asking.'
'Yeah,' I piped up, 'a lot of my relatives live in Sydney.'
Stacey glared at me, or possibly Simon, it was hard to tell, and snapped in the bitchiest voice I've ever heard, 'Well, AREN'T YOU SPECIAL?'
The more I think about it, the more I think it was directed at Simon. She really doesn't like Simon. She yells at him to go away all the time, tells him not to come in the room, tells him he's ugly, et cetera. Simon does have a bit of an odour so I don't spend a whole lot of time with him, but he is the fourth person to refer to my accent as 'sexy' so he gets a thumbs up from me (the other three being Gaven, Joey, and Drew).
Stacey's obviously very used to being the one that guys hit on all the time, and she undergoes a sort of chemical transformation into Bitchwoman if anyone else gets attention from a boy. She seems to harbour a special section of Bitchwoman's hatred just for me, because Justin, Joey, and Drew all spend more time with me than her (or used to) and it clearly bothered her.
With Bitchwoman sending her bitchvibes in my direction a good percentage of the day, I've been spending more time with Jamie, who's not too bright and a little annoying but very, very nice and a good person nonetheless. Jamie and I went shopping yesterday and I bought a sapphire blue Sony Walkman CD player with ultacool street-style headphones. Oh, it's cool. I love it. Next to shoes and Bath & Body Works, CDs are my favourite thing.
current mood: sort of...everything
current music: [[kylie minogue]] Can't Get You Out of My Head
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| Tuesday, July 23rd, 2002
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12:26 pm - Oh my God Becky. Look at her butt. It is sooo big!
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Well, things are a bit brighter today. McKenzie apparently didn't see the entire entry so she didn't get too mad about it, though my CDs are still missing and Nick swears he didn't take them. My roommates are being ultrasensative because I broke down in a fit of tears and when I told Justin, who was comforting me, what was wrong he went all righteous on my ass and told my roommates how mean they were and look what they did to me. Now they're treating me like Jesus II, mostly, or just avoiding me. That's okay. I'm kind of avoiding them too.'
Joey has forgiven me! He was yelling at me, telling me how mean I was, and that just broke it and the aforementioned crying began. His face twisted into a look of shock and apology and started going, 'Oh God, oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry, really, I forgive you, I'm sorry...'
And I just shook my head and told him it wasn't his fault. He hugged me and said if I wanted to talk about it he'd be around, but I didn't want to talk about it. I went back to my room and tried to pop the blade out of my razor but it wouldn't go so I took a mechanical pencil and even managed to get myself to bleed, holding a red carving of a star on my wrist under the water in the the bathroom sink when Delanie walked in. I chucked the pencil across the room and ripped my wrist from under the water and looked at her, tears all down my face.
'Hey, Dee,' I managed.
'What's the matter?' she asked.
I just shook my head. She ran up and took me in her arms and said, 'It's okay, it's okay, look.' She showed me her wrist, bearing a scar in the shape of an 'X'. 'I used to do it too.'
This was all yesterday afternoon and Delanie and I have actually become pretty close, and Jamie too, who never cut herself but has a lot of the same insecurities as Dee and I. It's good to know that other people feel as unloved, useless, and burdonsome as I do sometimes.
I'm sick. I'm actually very very sick. My lymph nodes are all swollen, my nose is running, and my head feels like a train just ran over it. I've been popping aspirin like altoids. Last night my throat swelled up and closed off and I woke up five or six times unable to breathe, choking, crying, thinking I was going to die. Since I'd taken a ton of advil and I didn't want to immunise myself again it, I took some ibuprofen from Joey, and I'm feeling peachy.
And here's the clincher:
Gaven is in love with Jamee the Whiner.
Now, I know I wouldn't do anything about my little crush on Gaven, who must be somehow distantly related to Johnny because they look very much alike, but Jamee the Whiner is the LAST person I would want to have him. I think she might curl up and die if she ever said anything positive. She hates everything, complains about everything, forced her overweight roommate to move out, and whines like I've never heard anyone whine before. She's never eaten a corndog, never visited Australia, or California, never ridden a rollercoaster, and probably never done a lot of other things because she's 'too cool' for it. Everywhere we go she just sits there and gives The Eye to everyone except Gaven, who once spent an entire busride kissing her shoulder (she swears she doesn't like him, but certainly didn't object when he was chewing on her shoulder). Rumor has it that Jamee the Whiner has given head three times with nothing in return and is the biggest 'ho in the history of the camp, except for Alexandra, who's really more of a slut.
On the bright side, everyone says Joey is in love with me. This is very flattering because the consensus is that Joey is very hot. A bit on the short side, but then, I'm 5'5" in American measurement, so I'm pretty tall. Joey and Drew, both. Both of them are sweet, funny, and bitches to Kyle, who's a little ass from Conneticut, some small state in the Northeast. Kyle is stupid, ugly, annoying, and sang 12 songs in the highest voice I've ever heard for karaoke last night (I sang a grand total of 0, though Gaven and Joey sang 'Baby Got Back' and 'Natural Woman' with Adam and Will).
Let's see if I can make some estimates about where people are from here.
New York/New Jersey: 20
The Midwest (Michigan, Illinois, Indiana, etc): 15
California: 5
New England (Maryland, Conneticut, New Hampshire, Maine, etc): 4
Turkey: 4
Japan: 1
Australia: 1 (ME! ^^)
And that makes for a grand total of 60, which is about the number of people we have. I go 'home' to my dad's house in California, if you can even call it home, in four days. I'm actually very excited. Two days ago my little sister Sidonie went to camp in Southern California, and my little brother Anthony leaves the day after I get to the new house to go to Boston, in Massachusetts. Behold the way my family is introduced to America. It's really not that different, but I really, really, really miss Oz anyway.
current mood: okay
current music: Clicky-click of people typing
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| Monday, July 22nd, 2002
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4:26 pm - I wanna go home~...
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I'm tired, hot, homesick, and unhappy. It's my last week at camp (thank GOD). The experience hasn't been awful but it hasn't been all apple pie and fruitcakes either.
Some stupid, ugly, pizzafaced kid named Nick has been being a little bitch lately. He called another girl, Delanie, from my cell phone without my permission and I suspect that he has taken two of my CDs. My Juliana Theory CD and my Punk Goes Pop CD, both awesome. He's also sexually molested me on a number of occasions...pinned me to my bed, tried to feel me up, and went through all of my stuff. ALL of my stuff. As of the moment I am very mad at him and not talking to him except to insult him, kick his nuts, and make jokes about his momma.
Let's see. There's Jackass Nick and then there's Funny Nick. Funny Nick I don't talk to much but when I have he's been, for the most part, nice to me. Which is very refreshing because there don't seem to be a whole lot of nice people here. Lucy, Delanie, Jamie (there's Jamie and Jamee; Jamie I like, Jamee I don't), Brandon most of the time, Stacey most of the time, McKenzie most of the time, Rita, Alexandra most of the time, Gaven, Tiffany, Justin, Will, and Adam. Out of sixty or seventy people, that's a pretty small amount.
I am SO MAD AT NICK, it's UNBELIEVABLE. You know when you get so mad that your vision goes all unfocused and you get that fire in your stomach? It's that kind of mad.
I'm also quite homesick. My roomates, Stacey and McKenzie (they get about a 6/10 rating as friends, I guess), both live in Detroit, but I'm halfway around the fscking world! They've both been home on a number of occasions, but I can't even call because it costs so much! I'll be able to call once the move to San Francisco is confirmed.
To make matters worse, McKenzie is a Jesus freak and kicked me when I said I didn't believe in God. Well, I don't. And I think it's very mean, narrow-minded, and hypocritical of her to be mad at me because I don't waste my life worshipping some stupid crutch for people who can't deal with their own issues. God is just someone to blame. People can't take responsibility for themselves will turn to God, so when something goes wrong they can demand 'Why God why?'. But I don't say this to her. And I think she's entitled to her beliefs. I think your opinion is your most basic right as a human and I don't try to force mine on to other people. Just the other day, Simon called her a bitch and she asked if I thought so too, and because I'm a good friend I said no, but sometimes I think she is.
Stacey, on the other hand, is an athiest. I don't consider myself an athiest; I have no opinion on God either way. I don't care if he's there or not. Stacey's moods fluctuate from friendly to whiny to just plain bitchy. Mostly Stacey is nice. Mostly I like Stacey. But there does seem to be some animousity between us that I can't get rid of, no matter what I try.
And then there's Gaven. Gaven is a big source of a lot of my problems here at camp. I just about burst into tears the first time I saw him because he bears such a startling resemblance to Johnny, same dark skin and beautiful eyes. A developed a bit of a crush on him, one that I wouldn't do anything about, but due to his Johnny-ness it was pretty much inevitable. My roommates give me so much grief over him, it drives me up the wall. I don't see why I can't privately feel that if I wasn't still madly in love with Johnny I would jump Gaven. It's almost like they're personally offended by this. Both of them have boyfriends. Why should they care?
Joey, also. Joey is short but good-looking in his own way. After a small misunderstanding last night I socked Joey in the balls and he's still very mad at me. I understand why but I apologised forty bazillion times and frankly I think he's being a bit of a baby. Nonetheless, I'm the kind of person who hates having enemies and I may die if he doesn't forgive me. I feel awful.
And finally, I HATE MICHIGAN. It's hot, sticky, and humid. Everything smells. I miss the ocean and I miss my house and I even like California better than this place.
I just discovered McKenzie standing over my shoulder. Shit. How long has she been standing there? Oh no, she's going to be pissed. Ugh. I hate this. I hate it all.
Whine, whine, whine. I hate myself.
current mood:  moody
current music: [[three doors down]] Kryptonite
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| Tuesday, July 2nd, 2002
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5:30 pm - *everybody cheers*
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Have arrived in Michigan!
I'm at a camp on a college campus with no air conditioning. It's about six hundred degrees and 87% humitidy. My room has three fans (most people only got one) because I kind of cheated. (One had no cover, but worked, and they made us get a new one--and then forgot, gave us another new one--and we never returned the one with no cover.) I'm staying with two other girls, Stacy and McKenzie, and have befriended Rita, Lucy, two Jamies, and a couple others. Lucy I met on the bus from the airport in Detroit. She seeed a bit ditzy off the bat but I really like her and I think she's really sweet and nice. Stacy is gorgeous. She's second-generation Greek-American, with dark brown hair, smooth tan skin, thin glasses, and dimples. It's infuriating. McKenzie's African and one of the funniest people I have ever met. In fact, McKenzie, who lives in Detroit, is going to get her mother to bring us a TV with a VCR. We already have a laptop with KaZaA (but no internet, I'm in a room with about six computers), a CD-player wih speakers, and three beds. We keep the fans running all day because it's disgustingly hot and sticky.
We're going shopping at 7:15 and there's a HUGE line for my computer, so I better get off.
current mood:  hot
current music: People clammering for my computer
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| Saturday, June 29th, 2002
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2:45 pm - Kids, you should always cave to peer pressure
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Since I shan't be here tomorrow...
Happy birthday, you big woobie, you!
I suck at making graphics so there's no present, sorry. Um, there's some neat stuff here, but I bet you've already seen it all.
And--the Google Game! Or, in this case, the Yahoo!/Excite/Lycos/Google Game. Everyone else is doing it, so I had to join in too!
Desirée sells panties to help fund her schooling.
Desirée was miserable enough to die.
Desirée is a beautifully renovated 18th-century four-bedroom village house in Sablet.
Desirée and I have known each other for about two years.
Desirée was the Queen of Sweden from 1777-1860 and was one of the most sought-after women of her time.
Desirée has been involved in the arts for the past 20 years, as a teacher in the public and private sectors, as the author of six books, and contributing editor to several periodicals in U.S. and Europe.
Desirée was stalked and murdered on the week of 4 January 1999.
current mood: amused
current music: [[dirty vegas]] Days Go By
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10:44 am - This is...goodbye, Australia
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It's my last day in Australia.
In fact, it's my last day as an Australian.
I've hugged and said tearful goodbyes to all my friends, my boyfriend (God, I *love* saying that), and even people I normally wouldn't give the time of day (i.e., Louis. DIE LOUIS). I'm going to miss everybody so much. It's so unfair.
Genna, Rose, Emerald, Nani, Harriet, James, Jaymie, Johnny...I could go on forever, but you don't care, you've never met any of these people and you know them only from my point of view. I know in California I'll meet new people, new friends, start a new life. I have the opportunity to totally revamp myself, start all over again.
Michael is such a t00b. The little pervert asked if he could give me a goodbye kiss. Frankly, I'm a bit flattered, but Michael's gross, sick, and probably a registered sex offender so I had to give him a stubborn, 'NO F*CKING WAY.'
Oh, yeah, journal is now censored, because who knows if they'll check up on where I've been and read it at camp? Sorry if it's not G-rated for the kiddies, but it's my life and I'm not going to edit it. Except for the swearing. I think I can quit that, or at least put asterisks in. F*CK SH*T F*CK! Wow, this is fun. =D
I haven't seen the house my father bought yet. It's supposed to be huge, used to be a vineyard, still is a vineyard, something like that.
I've given the addresses of both houses and the address of the camp so my friends can write me. I'm hoping they will. At camp, I have 45 minutes of online time a day, so hopefully I can maintain daily updates. But seriously, I don't know when I'll get the chance to update next. At the very latest it would be 25 July, because that's when I go home to SanFran.
I feel like a snake, shedding its skin. I'm not sure I like it.
current mood: sad
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